


Up Close And Personal

by clefable4tw



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25542832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clefable4tw/pseuds/clefable4tw
Summary: Team Yamato arrive a few minutes early to Kakashi's fight with Kakuzu, and totally misunderstand what's going on.
Kudos: 28





	Up Close And Personal

Ino and Chouji looked on as Kakashi fought Kakuzu; though “barely hanging on” was a more appropriate description. They were hoping that at any moment Shikamaru would carry out his part of the plan.

Things went from bad to worse when they saw Kakuzu get a direct hit on Kakashi, slam him to the ground with his vine like appendages, and jump on top of him.

“I’m going to take your heart to replace the one you destroyed Kakashi.” proclaimed Kakuzu, menacingly.

“This isn’t good!” Chouji yelled to Ino.

“What can we-” Ino wasn’t able to finish her sentence, because all of the sudden, a large gust of wind kicked up dust, blocking their view. As the dust settled, they were able to make out four familiar figures, much to their relief.

“Sakura! Everyone! Thank goodness you’re here.” cried Ino. Sakura smiled and gave her an understanding nod.

“Sorry we took so long. Looks like you could have used our help sooner.” said Yamato.

“It’s fine! We’re just glad you’re here at all, and just in time!” Chouji replied.

“You guys relax and leave this to us!” declared Naruto.

“Our pleasure!” said Chouji, as he and Ino retreated for a much needed breather, and Team Yamato turned their attention to Kakuzu and Kakashi.

“Kakashi’s in quite a bind.” observed Yamato.

“Yes, how should we go about this?” asked Sai.

Naruto however, didn’t need a plan. “Hey, get off Kakashi-sensai!” At seeing his comrades disbelieving looks, he shrugged, “Figured I might as well get his attention.”

Kakuzu spoke. “So, reinforcements have arrived. No matter. I can take you all out easily, and then I will take Kakashi’s heart to replace the one I’ve lost.”

Naruto and Sakura exchanged a quick look, shock clearly evident on their faces. The situation was worse than they realized. “What was that you just said? Taking his heart? You can’t force that sort of thing! Besides, Kakashi-sensai would never go for you; you’re Akatsuki!” said Naruto.

* * *

Sai had noticed Naruto and Sakura’s silent exchange, but had been confused, still having trouble with the subtleties of human interaction. But now he knew what they had realized, and wanted to contribute. “I know!” he thought to himself, then said “Those stitches _are_ unattractive.”

“Yeah!” seconded Sakura.

Kakuzu’s confusion quickly turned to irritation. “What are you brats talking about?”

“It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? You totally want to be with Kakashi-sensai.” said Sakura.

Kakuzu took a moment to process that statement. “No. How you came to that conclusion baffles me. With such poorly developed observation skills, how can you even call yourselves ninja?”

“You said you wanted his heart! What more is there to understand?” asked Naruto.

“I want to remove his physical heart from his body and transplant it into my body.” Kakuzu clarified.

“Oh! I’ve read about stuff like this. So, Kakashi-sensai rejected you and since you can’t have his feelings you’re going to take out his heart instead?” questioned Sakura.

“I have four hearts. Kakashi destroyed one of them, and I need to replace it.” explained Kakuzu, through gritted teeth.

“Huh? Kakashi-sensai broke your heart? Sakura, he really just said that, right? Where does this guy get off acting acting all outraged?" asked Naruto.

“Really though. We see right through you!” replied Sakura.

“This has nothing to do with love!” said Kakuzu, his frustration rising.

“Maybe it isn’t love, but definitely attraction.” said Sakura.

“Yeah, you’ve been straddling Kakashi-sensai this entire time.” Naruto observed.

“That’s only because you interrupted me. I needed to subdue him while I removed his heart.” Kakuzu ground out.

“Yeah, sure,” said Naruto blandly. “Hey Captain Yamato, what do you think about this?”

* * *

Yamato had been observing this exchange with a mixture of bewilderment and amusement. He was sure Kakuzu was not interested in Kakashi, romantically or otherwise, though it was entertaining how passionate Naruto and Sakura were about it. The mood was infectious; Even Sai had felt compelled to say something. And so, he too joined in. “I see Kakashi is missing his flack jacket.”

“You’re right!” said Naruto and Sakura, in unison in their outrage. “You monster!” Sakura continued.

“He lost it during our fight earlier, from a giant wind blast. I did not remove his flak jacket on purpose!” Kakuzu said.

“You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to us!” Naruto said.

* * *

Ino and Chouji had been observing the scene since they retreated. “What are they doing over there?” said Ino.

“Beats me,” said Chouji. “ It looks like they’re just talking. They should really be helping Kakashi-sensai out.”

* * *

Kakashi had been relieved when Yamato and the others had shown up, only to have that relief slowly evaporate. While Naruto and Sakura’s concern for him was oddly sweet, he did not know how he was going to get out of this position. This conversation had to end at some point, but it had gone on much longer than expected. Maybe in hindsight he would find this amusing, but at the moment he was highly aware of the increasingly angry Akatsuki member who had tentacles lodged into his chest.

Kakashi sighed. He had the thought that perhaps he in some way brought this upon himself. He did read Iccha Iccha Paradise a lot, and around Naruto and Sakura. Maybe it effected them more than he had realized.

Suddenly, Kakuzu’s face contorted in pain. “What did you...?” he began to ask Kakashi., but could not finish. He lost consciousness, and fell over and away from Kakashi, as Kakashi smiled in gratitude. “Perfect timing, Shikamaru.”


End file.
